For years, the Lord has had me record all my dreams. Sometimes I'm not even sure if the dreams I'm recording are spiritual (as not all dreams are). This year, however, I have been blown away by how many dreams He's reminded me of. When He does, I always run to my "journal", which is just a word document I've been keeping for a few years. I run a quick key word search to locate the dream and the revelation that pours out is CRAZY! Gotta love the Kairos moments.
Today that happened. No idea why but I pulled up my "journal" and saw a dream that was so many years ago it didn't even have a date. Recording your dreams doesn't have to be time consuming; this one was one simple sentence:
Man charged me 71 cents for a single quantity of something at an Ulta3 type of store.
That one sentence caught my eye and I couldn't get away from it. Then the Lord started speaking, "Go to Psalm 71."
Forsake Me Not When My Strength Is Spent
1 In you, O LORD, do I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame!
2In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me;
incline your ear to me, and save me!
3Be to me a rock of refuge,
to which I may continually come;
you have given the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Rescue me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of the unjust and cruel man.
5For you, O Lord, are my hope,
my trust, O LORD, from my youth.
6Upon you I have leaned from before my birth;
you are he who took me from my mother’s womb.
My praise is continually of you.
7I have been as a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8My mouth is filled with your praise,
and with your glory all the day.
9 Do not cast me off in the time of old age;
forsake me not when my strength is spent.
10For my enemies speak concerning me;
those who watch for my life consult together
11and say, "God has forsaken him;
pursue and seize him,
for there is none to deliver him."
12O God, be not far from me;
O my God, make haste to help me!
13May my accusers be put to shame and consumed;
with scorn and disgrace may they be covered
who seek my hurt.
14But I will hope continually
and will praise you yet more and more.
15My mouth will tell of your righteous acts,
of your deeds of salvation all the day,
for their number is past my knowledge.
16With the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD I will come;
I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.
17O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
18So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come.
19Your righteousness, O God,
reaches the high heavens.
You who have done great things,
O God, who is like you?
20You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again;
from the depths of the earth
you will bring me up again.
21You will increase my greatness
and comfort me again.
22I will also praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praises to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23My lips will shout for joy,
when I sing praises to you;
my soul also, which you have redeemed.
24And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long, for they have been put to shame and disappointed who sought to do me hurt.
Then I felt Him say. 71cents. Psalm 71. That is the cost you had to pay in following after Me thus far. Ulta 3 is a beauty supply store. That's the cost you had to pay for beauty. Not what the world considers beauty but what I consider beauty to be. He was letting me know back then that there was price to be paid for the beauty I desired to have in Him.
What in the WORLD!!!! :) That encouraged my heart SO much today! The last several years have been a tremendous battle spiritually. I've cried out to the Lord so many times about so many things. 2 Corinthian 10 3-4 says, "For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
I have warred with spiritual weapons and watched God be faithful to me. Ugh! That moves me to my core! The God of the universe is faithful to me. He has to humble Himself just to look at me yet He is faithful to hear me and move on my behalf ....
Psalm 113:5-6, "Who is like the LORD our God, who is enthroned on high, who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in heaven and in the earth?"
Just encourages me to keep recording whatever randomness I happen to dream about. You never know...God could be in it. So dream on.... :)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
The Place of Silence
I recently was awakened to an entanglement that the enemy has been, is devising and constructing against me. Being the sheep that I am, I was clueless until my loving Shepherd finally opened my eyes by saying, “Daughter, do you see what it going on here?” After the initial shock I was able to settle down and hear more of what He had to say. The more He revealed to me about the enemy’s plan, the who, what, when, where, why and how of the matter, I found myself stunned to silence.
My mind was racing. My heart was hurting. However, my spirit was soaring! I LOVE the Lord! You see after I got over the question of “how could I have been so blind and dumb and trusting?”, and the “What in the world am I going to do?” The emotion that remained and was the most prevalent was Joy! I thought, “WOW GOD! You are amazing. What a privilege it is to serve a God that can reveal to me at His whim the plans of the enemy concerning me.” The revelation didn’t come as a result of fasting or pressing in for it. It simply came from the overflow of His love for me and the intimate relationship we share. The joy of the Lord truly is my strength.
As the Lord walked me through this revelation I couldn’t help but think of Jesus. My main concern was how am I supposed to act? How am I supposed to continue to face my enemies? God reminded me how Jesus dealt with His accusers. In this life we will deal with accusers in the spiritual realm and then there are times we will face accusers in the natural; ones that we have to come face to face with regularly. I tend to be the kind of person that if I’m not particularly fond of you I have no problem being polite and saying hello but I’m really not going to go through the motions of hugging you, hanging out with you and/or having lengthy conversations with you. I find it to be very fake and two-faced. But then God reminded me how Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss and how Jesus stood before Pilate in a place of silence when there was so much He could have said. Heck! There was so much that should have been said but God had a better more effective plan. Can you imagine your enemy hugging your neck every time they see you? The thought makes me ill but what God keeps telling me is to simply be silent and receive it. Ugh! Not gonna lie, that one is tough for me, lol.
A few months ago the Lord started teaching me to not defend myself. He was adamant about it and I couldn’t figure out why He was harping on it so much. He was killing that part of my flesh that felt it was entitled, had the right, to defend myself or to even confront my accusers. I realize now that He was preparing me for this moment in which I am walking in. Do I really believe He is my defender? Do I really believe He will avenge me? Do I really believe that ultimately He will prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies? This is my moment to walk out the Word. Silence speaks so much louder than ranting and raving. Silence says, “I am controlled by the Spirit not my flesh.” Silence says, “I do not fight against flesh and blood and will do my warfare in the spiritual realm.” Silence says, “I am victorious, more than a conqueror, and when my Father deems the moment appropriate, He will speak up for me.”
The place of silence. I am learning there is peace in the place of silence and even joy! I never would have imagined. If God is for me, who can be against me? I am learning to love this place of silence. Silence before my accusers. Silence before the Lord. The less I talk the more He reveals. Wow, what an amazing trade off…
"Cast your burden on the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22 AMEN AND AMEN!!!
My mind was racing. My heart was hurting. However, my spirit was soaring! I LOVE the Lord! You see after I got over the question of “how could I have been so blind and dumb and trusting?”, and the “What in the world am I going to do?” The emotion that remained and was the most prevalent was Joy! I thought, “WOW GOD! You are amazing. What a privilege it is to serve a God that can reveal to me at His whim the plans of the enemy concerning me.” The revelation didn’t come as a result of fasting or pressing in for it. It simply came from the overflow of His love for me and the intimate relationship we share. The joy of the Lord truly is my strength.
As the Lord walked me through this revelation I couldn’t help but think of Jesus. My main concern was how am I supposed to act? How am I supposed to continue to face my enemies? God reminded me how Jesus dealt with His accusers. In this life we will deal with accusers in the spiritual realm and then there are times we will face accusers in the natural; ones that we have to come face to face with regularly. I tend to be the kind of person that if I’m not particularly fond of you I have no problem being polite and saying hello but I’m really not going to go through the motions of hugging you, hanging out with you and/or having lengthy conversations with you. I find it to be very fake and two-faced. But then God reminded me how Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss and how Jesus stood before Pilate in a place of silence when there was so much He could have said. Heck! There was so much that should have been said but God had a better more effective plan. Can you imagine your enemy hugging your neck every time they see you? The thought makes me ill but what God keeps telling me is to simply be silent and receive it. Ugh! Not gonna lie, that one is tough for me, lol.
A few months ago the Lord started teaching me to not defend myself. He was adamant about it and I couldn’t figure out why He was harping on it so much. He was killing that part of my flesh that felt it was entitled, had the right, to defend myself or to even confront my accusers. I realize now that He was preparing me for this moment in which I am walking in. Do I really believe He is my defender? Do I really believe He will avenge me? Do I really believe that ultimately He will prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies? This is my moment to walk out the Word. Silence speaks so much louder than ranting and raving. Silence says, “I am controlled by the Spirit not my flesh.” Silence says, “I do not fight against flesh and blood and will do my warfare in the spiritual realm.” Silence says, “I am victorious, more than a conqueror, and when my Father deems the moment appropriate, He will speak up for me.”
The place of silence. I am learning there is peace in the place of silence and even joy! I never would have imagined. If God is for me, who can be against me? I am learning to love this place of silence. Silence before my accusers. Silence before the Lord. The less I talk the more He reveals. Wow, what an amazing trade off…
"Cast your burden on the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22 AMEN AND AMEN!!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Getting a heart for Africa
I've been getting mentally, spiritually and physically prepared to go to Kenya this summer. I AM SO EXCITED. It's been 3 years since I've been on the mission field and my heart is itching to go back. Even more exciting than that is now I get to go with a completely different persepective of who I am as a child of God, an amabassor of the Kingdom, and also being more experienced hearing and doing what His spirit tells me to moment by moment. Oh yeah! Exciting times ahead.
Yesterday a friend gave me a movie she said would "...give [me] more of a heart for Africa and a grid for what is going on." The movie is called Beat the Drum and lets just say I wept and wept over the situation over there. If you know me I'm not a cryer so that's saying ALOT. I recommend it to anyone who wants a better understanding or a "heart" for Africa. It truly the depicts the heartbreaking situation with the AIDS outbreak and how it affects so many. It also sheds so much light on the street children, the other orphan kids, and those that are working so hard make Africa a better place overall. I'm not sure if the movie is in the movie rental stores but try to get it. It's well worth the investment.
Several people have asked me how that can help (thanks for the support seriously!) :)
Other than the cost of the trip which is $3200, I will need to purchase several long dresses so that I can adapt to the culture there. This week I found some a amazing breathable long dresses at Old Navy. Unfortunately, they are $25 a peice (slightly..okay totally out of my price range right now) so if you'd like to hook me up with a gift certificate or cash that would be amazing. One of our team members was blessed with a buddy pass for the flight, if you have an connections to make that happen this too would be extremely helpful. As far as financial support that about covers it:
$3200 total trip cost
$200 for about 8 dresses (could find them cheaper if they go on sale)
buddy pass to Africa
Thanks for checking in on the latest adventure ;) Blessings,
Cassandra
Yesterday a friend gave me a movie she said would "...give [me] more of a heart for Africa and a grid for what is going on." The movie is called Beat the Drum and lets just say I wept and wept over the situation over there. If you know me I'm not a cryer so that's saying ALOT. I recommend it to anyone who wants a better understanding or a "heart" for Africa. It truly the depicts the heartbreaking situation with the AIDS outbreak and how it affects so many. It also sheds so much light on the street children, the other orphan kids, and those that are working so hard make Africa a better place overall. I'm not sure if the movie is in the movie rental stores but try to get it. It's well worth the investment.
Several people have asked me how that can help (thanks for the support seriously!) :)
Other than the cost of the trip which is $3200, I will need to purchase several long dresses so that I can adapt to the culture there. This week I found some a amazing breathable long dresses at Old Navy. Unfortunately, they are $25 a peice (slightly..okay totally out of my price range right now) so if you'd like to hook me up with a gift certificate or cash that would be amazing. One of our team members was blessed with a buddy pass for the flight, if you have an connections to make that happen this too would be extremely helpful. As far as financial support that about covers it:
$3200 total trip cost
$200 for about 8 dresses (could find them cheaper if they go on sale)
buddy pass to Africa
Thanks for checking in on the latest adventure ;) Blessings,
Cassandra
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Forerunner Sacred Charge
Since coming back from onething08 I have really struggled to articulate to anyone what transpired in my heart. The very last thing I want to do is try to explain it and received the blank stare *blink* blink*, lol. So for the most part I've sat on my news trying to process it myself. Everyday more revelation comes and I am more and more blown away by the call on my life. I don’t say that to imply that I am superior to anyone, if anything it's making realize just how LOW I really have to go in order to fulfill this calling.
The very last night of onething I came in late after finalizing some things at our booth. Finally finding a seat with our group they announce that they'll be taking up an offering the support the missionaries at the International House of Prayer in KC. Leaving for this trip I had enough in my account for ONETHING expenses and then a new cell phone. I've been in dire need of a new phone as mine current one is completely unreliable. In addition I decided that my next phone would be an international phone so I'd be ready and geared up to go to the nations in '09. Sitting there before the offering was collected; I asked the Lord how much I should give. He threw a few numbers out there and I have no doubt He was testing my reaction. I want and NEED a new cell SO badly!!! But I knew could not pass up on the opportunity to sow into such a great organization like IHOP. Each amount He suggests being greater than the previous. Finally the Lord tells me an amount that will make my cell phone purchase impossible!
I REALLY struggled but knew in my heart I was not going to say no to Abba. There is no way I could ever out-give Him. All of the sudden something began stirring in my spirit, almost like the spirit of travail coming on, but different. I assumed something huge was getting ready to go down corporately but it was ALL about me! After I gave the money I silently wept because it really was a great sacrifice for me but also I could feel the Lord getting ready to minister to my heart. For years I had been giving and sowing but honestly had yet to see a great return. However this time I knew I had to sow and I wanted to with all my heart. I heard the lyrics to the song currently being played, “where you go I’ll go, what you say I’ll say, what you pray I’ll pray.” I KNEW that Lord was encouraging me. WOW! I could literally FEEL Him drawing me into more intimacy with Him at the VERY moment. The apathy that was in my heart most of the week quickly melted away and was completely gone. My heart was so tender toward Abba and then He began to speak to me:
I am calling you to radical living. You are going to change the world. Depend on me. Authority only comes from me. Revisit Matthew 18:23. Commanding Violence. I have your boarding pass. Get Ready. Be ready to take the kingdom by force! Fragrance. You are a magnificent fragrance in my nostrils. Rise up. Come higher. Go down deeper. Extinct the sin.
This only made me weep even more because the last two weeks had been so hard. I had been dealing with CRAZY warfare, warfare that in my 13 years serving the Lord I had not encountered. It blew my mind that in the midst of all THAT He could speak these words to me.
Next Mike Bickle spoke about Forerunners. Mike Bickle gave a "sacred charge" to any who distinctly felt the calling to be a forerunner like John the Baptist was, preparing the way for the Lord's return. Above and beyond the simple disciplines of Christianity, this 10-year minimum commitment to "eating the scroll" and devouring the Word of God related to the end-times. (Rev. 10)
Here are the seven things a Forerunner committed to walk out:
The Sacred Charge: 7 Commitments of a Forerunner
Friends of the Bridegroom preparing the way of Jesus’ Second Coming
1. Pray daily: spending 2 hours in prayer and Word (Book of Revelation once a week for 3 years)
2. Fast weekly: setting your heart to fast 2 days a week as a lifestyle
3. Speak boldly: standing as a faithful witness in allegiance to Jesus’ heart for the Church, Israel and the nations
4. Do Justly: doing works of justice focusing on the fatherless and oppressed
5. Give extravagantly: giving to the prayer movement (beyond our tithe)
6. Live holy: walking out the Sermon on the Mount and keeping the Purity Covenant
7. Lead diligently: leading weekly prayer meetings and Bible studies (focused on training forerunners)
As wrote the 7 point down I thought to myself,"Wow, very admirable. These Forerunners are HARDCORE." Then I FEEL it. Nest I hear the Lord say, "Get ready to go up. That's you!" They weren’t even doing an alter call yet!!! I sat there in my seat thinking, "No way Lord! This is not me! This commitment is SERIOUS and I don't make play-play commitments." As I sat there in a one-sided argument with the Lord Mike Bickle does and alter call and I just KNEW the Lord would physically pick me up and place me up there if I don’t move! I was so offended! I argued with the Lord. How can He ask so much of me?!?!? This Forerunner thing was WAY over my head but I heard the call and I knew this was why He gave me that personal prophetic word just 15 minutes earlier. He was preparing me for this very minute! From the moment I sat down He was preparing me for this alter call! I literally dug in my bag for a pack of tissue because I KNEW what was about to take place and, sure enough, I bolted out of my seat, went down to the altar and bawled my eyes out for 10 minutes still arguing with the Lord. Finally I surrendered and I just melted in Father.
Shortly after being up there I found Allison behind me. ; Both of us we balling our eyes out. Once I got back to my seat I just wailed!!!!!! In the midst of dealing with intense warfare, here I was answering this major call from the Lord. I guess it makes sense. I knew another level in the Lord was coming for me b/c of the new level of opposition.
I didn't make these seven commitments out of a sense of duty thinking that God would not accept me if I did not take up the charge, but out of a sense of love and desire to walk in the fullness of what God has called me to. It was such a powerful thing to experience, and I felt that it was a defining moment for me, in history and for the end-time prayer movement.
Lord, make me a laid-down, lover totally surrendered to You.
The very last night of onething I came in late after finalizing some things at our booth. Finally finding a seat with our group they announce that they'll be taking up an offering the support the missionaries at the International House of Prayer in KC. Leaving for this trip I had enough in my account for ONETHING expenses and then a new cell phone. I've been in dire need of a new phone as mine current one is completely unreliable. In addition I decided that my next phone would be an international phone so I'd be ready and geared up to go to the nations in '09. Sitting there before the offering was collected; I asked the Lord how much I should give. He threw a few numbers out there and I have no doubt He was testing my reaction. I want and NEED a new cell SO badly!!! But I knew could not pass up on the opportunity to sow into such a great organization like IHOP. Each amount He suggests being greater than the previous. Finally the Lord tells me an amount that will make my cell phone purchase impossible!
I REALLY struggled but knew in my heart I was not going to say no to Abba. There is no way I could ever out-give Him. All of the sudden something began stirring in my spirit, almost like the spirit of travail coming on, but different. I assumed something huge was getting ready to go down corporately but it was ALL about me! After I gave the money I silently wept because it really was a great sacrifice for me but also I could feel the Lord getting ready to minister to my heart. For years I had been giving and sowing but honestly had yet to see a great return. However this time I knew I had to sow and I wanted to with all my heart. I heard the lyrics to the song currently being played, “where you go I’ll go, what you say I’ll say, what you pray I’ll pray.” I KNEW that Lord was encouraging me. WOW! I could literally FEEL Him drawing me into more intimacy with Him at the VERY moment. The apathy that was in my heart most of the week quickly melted away and was completely gone. My heart was so tender toward Abba and then He began to speak to me:
I am calling you to radical living. You are going to change the world. Depend on me. Authority only comes from me. Revisit Matthew 18:23. Commanding Violence. I have your boarding pass. Get Ready. Be ready to take the kingdom by force! Fragrance. You are a magnificent fragrance in my nostrils. Rise up. Come higher. Go down deeper. Extinct the sin.
This only made me weep even more because the last two weeks had been so hard. I had been dealing with CRAZY warfare, warfare that in my 13 years serving the Lord I had not encountered. It blew my mind that in the midst of all THAT He could speak these words to me.
Next Mike Bickle spoke about Forerunners. Mike Bickle gave a "sacred charge" to any who distinctly felt the calling to be a forerunner like John the Baptist was, preparing the way for the Lord's return. Above and beyond the simple disciplines of Christianity, this 10-year minimum commitment to "eating the scroll" and devouring the Word of God related to the end-times. (Rev. 10)
Here are the seven things a Forerunner committed to walk out:
The Sacred Charge: 7 Commitments of a Forerunner
Friends of the Bridegroom preparing the way of Jesus’ Second Coming
1. Pray daily: spending 2 hours in prayer and Word (Book of Revelation once a week for 3 years)
2. Fast weekly: setting your heart to fast 2 days a week as a lifestyle
3. Speak boldly: standing as a faithful witness in allegiance to Jesus’ heart for the Church, Israel and the nations
4. Do Justly: doing works of justice focusing on the fatherless and oppressed
5. Give extravagantly: giving to the prayer movement (beyond our tithe)
6. Live holy: walking out the Sermon on the Mount and keeping the Purity Covenant
7. Lead diligently: leading weekly prayer meetings and Bible studies (focused on training forerunners)
As wrote the 7 point down I thought to myself,"Wow, very admirable. These Forerunners are HARDCORE." Then I FEEL it. Nest I hear the Lord say, "Get ready to go up. That's you!" They weren’t even doing an alter call yet!!! I sat there in my seat thinking, "No way Lord! This is not me! This commitment is SERIOUS and I don't make play-play commitments." As I sat there in a one-sided argument with the Lord Mike Bickle does and alter call and I just KNEW the Lord would physically pick me up and place me up there if I don’t move! I was so offended! I argued with the Lord. How can He ask so much of me?!?!? This Forerunner thing was WAY over my head but I heard the call and I knew this was why He gave me that personal prophetic word just 15 minutes earlier. He was preparing me for this very minute! From the moment I sat down He was preparing me for this alter call! I literally dug in my bag for a pack of tissue because I KNEW what was about to take place and, sure enough, I bolted out of my seat, went down to the altar and bawled my eyes out for 10 minutes still arguing with the Lord. Finally I surrendered and I just melted in Father.
Shortly after being up there I found Allison behind me. ; Both of us we balling our eyes out. Once I got back to my seat I just wailed!!!!!! In the midst of dealing with intense warfare, here I was answering this major call from the Lord. I guess it makes sense. I knew another level in the Lord was coming for me b/c of the new level of opposition.
I didn't make these seven commitments out of a sense of duty thinking that God would not accept me if I did not take up the charge, but out of a sense of love and desire to walk in the fullness of what God has called me to. It was such a powerful thing to experience, and I felt that it was a defining moment for me, in history and for the end-time prayer movement.
Lord, make me a laid-down, lover totally surrendered to You.
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